The best job in the world is now seeking applicants. Your job: Care for panda cubs. Your pay: Who the fuck cares you get to play with pandas all day!
The China Giant Panda Protection and Research Center in Sichuan province is recruiting. The job requires taking care of panda cubs. Recruitment started in Beijing on Saturday and will continue until mid-July.
So, all I have to do is move to Ya'an, in China's Sichuan province, get paid $32,000/year, have my accommodations, meals, and car paid for, and I get to babysit panda cubs all day. Apply here.